I have been terrible at updating this blog, but tonight I had to write a quick post in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. On this day, around the world, people are participating in the Wave of Light by lighting candles for their babies in heaven. Tonight I read Archer his usual bedtime story but instead of Guess How Much I Love You or one of our other favorites, I read to him Someone Came Before you. This is another book we read often. Holdon is always on my mind and I want Archer to know about him. After Archer went down, I lit 5 candles, one for Holdon, and one for each of my miscarriages. I know our angels are with us  and feeling the warmth and love being shared around the world tonight. I’m also thinking about all the little angels around the world who were taken from their parents too soon and sending love and prayers to them and their families.? Image credit: Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc. (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Share-Pregnancy-Infant-Loss-Support-Inc/112835372099879)[/caption]

I am so sorry for the delay posting this update. The past 2 days have gone by in a blur. I had hoped to write a detailed post, but it’s not easy from my phone. So I thought I would at least post an update with his name and some pics and then I’ll post the complete birth details when I get back home and settled. Our miracle boy is here! And we are in complete awe of him. Archer Holdon Regunathan was born at 7:31 am on December 16th weighing 6lbs 15 oz and 19 inches long. He’s a good size for 3 weeks early, but not the giant baby we thought he’d be, proving just how inaccurate the measurements can be on the ultrasound. I will post more details soon. Thank you everyone for all your love and support. If you want to keep up with us over the next few days or just see more photos, you can find me on Facebook under my name (Johanne Regunathan).

On Monday evening around 8pm I was walking into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and my water broke! I felt a gush of liquid. Thought, huh what was that? And then it happened again. I must have made a weird sound because my husband came running in to check on me. I just shook my head and said “I think my water broke or maybe I just peed my pants. I don’t know!” So here’s a little fact that I didn’t know until tonight and they really don’t explain in any of the books I’ve read, when your water breaks, the fluid will keep coming until you deliver. I did not know that. When I called the after-hours nurse at L&D, she informed me of this fact and told me to put a pad on to make sure. If fluid continued to come out in an hour timespan, it was my waters and to come in. I soaked through 3 pads in an hour so it seemed that yes, this was indeed my waters and we were starting labor 3 weeks early (2 weeks before our planned c-section). So I had a quick shower since I…Continue reading The Best Anniversary Present Ever

Jasmine at http://walkwithjasmine.wordpress.com, posted this today and it really moved me. Jasmine is 1 of the 497 women in the video. Repeatedly you hear the word “sacred”, repeatedly you see the art of “sacred” bellies. It represents all of us, mothers who have lost babies. No more shame, no more guilt, no more silence. On the graves of our little ones, we rise up and say, “I am sacred because of you.” Please share this video and spread the word. I am a sacred space because of Holdon and my other 4 angels in Heaven. <3