Yay Supplements!

If you’ve been dealing with Recurrent Pregnancy Loss or infertility for a while now, you probably have a long list of supplements that you take every day. I know I do and I hate, HATE taking pills. When I was 19, I almost choked to death taking 3 huge vitamin C tablets at once. I passed out from lack of oxygen and probably wouldn’t be here to tell this story, if it wasn’t for the fast actions of my college roommate who gave me the heimlich maneuver and saved my life. Ever since then, I’ve had trouble taking pills. I have to take each pill individually, regardless of its size. It’s quite a chore to take all of them every day, but this is the first month I actually don’t mind taking them and I wanted to share why! Fertility supplements aren’t a complete waste of time and money after all! Here’s why: 1. Fertility supplements boost the immune system! My husband was super sick for a week and half. He could barely move he was so ill. Usually, when he’s sick, I’m sick within a couple days too. I actually thought we would be out for even trying this month […]

The Difference A Day Can Make

First of all, I want to thank all the ladies who commented on my WTF is My Body Doing? post from yesterday. All your support and advice really helped ease my mind and I was able to fall asleep easily last night instead of worrying about what my waking temp would be today. And sure enough, my temp went way up to 98.0 this morning! There’s no mistaking that temp shift. Whew! So if it remains high, then I can confirm that I ovulated some time yesterday. I’m feeling pretty foolish for putting that post up yesterday and seeing my temp go up today. Talk about jumping the gun! I really think my body was having a good laugh at my expense, but at least I know I’m back on track with only a few days delay and all your advice really helped! Image source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/328551735287917191/ After seeing that temp shift, I turned off my alarm and fell back to sleep until 10:00. It was bliss! I haven’t been able to sleep in that late in ages, and I can’t believe what a difference it has made in my mood today. So now I’m back in the dreaded TWW again, but […]

Chemical Pregnancy or False Positive?

I have been holding off writing this post until I had more answers, but three days later, I honestly still don’t know what the F really happened. My period was due 4 days ago. By 6PM on that day, there was no sign of AF arriving and I was feeling all the familiar “symptoms” I’ve had with my last 4 pregnancies: weird throbbing headaches, extremely sore breasts and peeing a lot, so I decided to test. I sent my hubby out to get the tests because I had used up all my tests last month when I was frantically hoping for a BFP after my embryo transfer. He came home with the generic CVS brand with blue dye. I wasn’t happy. I only trust First Response Early Result tests not blue dye early result tests. I have heard they can sometimes give false positives. At any rate, this was the only test I had and my hubby was irritated with me for testing at all. He’s of the mindset, we’ll find out when my period is a no show, but since I always have a 26 day cycle and my period is usually in full force by the evening on […]

Officially Not Pregnant

I had my confirmation blood test today and it was still negative. It’s official. Our little embryo didn’t take. I’m completely devastated. I really thought this work, and I never allowed myself to think of the alternative. I know, bad idea, but I just didn’t want to let the negative thoughts in. It was as though I thought if I kept a positive attitude, I could will the final result to be positive, but that obviously wasn’t the case. So… what do we do now? Good question. I honestly don’t know. We have an appointment with Dr. J on Wednesday to discuss our options, but I just don’t know what we can handle anymore, financially or emotionally. So we’ll see. For tonight, I’m drinking some wine because I can and trying to not think about the future and what we should do right now. I just need a night where I’m not thinking about having a baby, or all my losses or anything. I’m tired of it all. Thank you everyone for all your love and support. I feel a little stronger dealing with all of this now then I have in the past with all my losses and other […]

Negative Beta and Feeling Lost

Thank you everyone for all your love and support over the past few days. I wish I had better news to share, but unfortunately I don’t. It’s official, the blood test was negative today. I knew as soon as I heard the nurse’s voice that it was bad news. I could hear the disappointment in her voice. But at least I wasn’t surprised. Even though she discouraged me from testing on my own, at least it allowed me to be prepared for the final result. Well almost final result. As if this wasn’t bad enough, I have to go back in on Monday and re test, “just in case”. Although it’s very unlikely, there’s still a small possibility that I could have a late implantation and we have to wait to confirm. So this means, I have to wait some more and still have to use the messy progesterone suppositories and I still have to act pregnant, even though all I want to do is drown myself in a bottle of wine right now. I feel so lost right now. This was our one chance. I have no idea what to do now. After Monday’s confirmation, we’ll meet with Dr. […]

6dp5dt – Losing Hope

Well a lot has changed in the past 3 days. I wish I could say it was for the better, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. I have been feeling a lot of cramping that’s gotten steadily more noticeable in the past couple days and my breasts were starting to get really sore. I thought this must have been a good sign, so I decided to do an FRER HPT, yesterday. I know I shouldn’t have. The nurse specifically told me not to, but I know FRER is really sensitive and can detect the smallest traces of HCG, and I told myself from the start that I would test a day or two before so I could prepare myself. Well it was negative. And I did another test this morning and it was negative too. I’m devestaded. How can I be feeling all of this and it be negative? I guess it could be the progesterone, but I didn’t feel any of this before the transfer. It’s so messed up. I know it’s not over until the beta tomorrow, but I’m not too hopeful anymore that the result will be different with the blood test. I know this is why the […]

3dp5dt FET

Today is 3dp5dt (3 days past 5 day [blastocyst] transfer). Well actually it’s the 4th day since my transfer, but it seems that the first day is counted as day 0, or at least that’s what the consensus seems to be on all the sites I’ve looked at. What does this really mean? Not too much yet. I still have 4 days until my first beta, but I really have a good feeling about this. Quite literally – I’m already feeling stuff! The first 2 days, I just felt really tired. The first day was probably from lying around all day after my transfer, but then we drove out to Temecula on Saturday for our friends’ wedding and even though I did absolutely nothing except sit in the car, and then sit at the wedding (I didn’t even dance), I felt exhausted all day. The wedding was so beautiful. It took place at the Wilson Creek Winery and it was absolutely magical. However, it was hard for me to fully enjoy it because I was so tired, and it’s always weird being the only sober person in a room. So I left the festivities at 10:30 when the wedding was […]