I met with Dr. J today, and everything looked good on the ultrasound and blood test, so we’re a go! Here’s the schedule the nurse gave me: Jan 8th – Jan 13th: 2 mg Estrace (Estradiol) morning and night (2/day- orally) Jan 14th – 18th: 2 mg Estrace (Estradiol) morning, noon and night (3/day – orally) Jan 17th: Monitoring Appointment to make sure I didn’t ovulate. Dr. J said 85% of women taking estrogen won’t ovulate. We want me to NOT ovulate. If I do ovulate, even on the estrogen, we’ll have to stop this cycle and start over next cycle, but with suppressant injections of Lupron. Why not just do the suppressant injections now? I asked Dr. J this and he said he would rather not give me any more hormones then necessary so we’re trying just the estrogen for now. So fingers crossed the estrogen works and I don’t ovulate! If I don’t ovulate, then we’ll continue with the cycle with the following protocol: Jan 19th – until determined: 2 mg Estrace (Estradiol) morning and night (2/day – orally) 200 mg Progesterone capsules morning, noon and night (3/day – vaginally) Jan 22nd Azithromycin – to prevent infection from…Continue reading FET Schedule
Category: IVF and PGD
My Last Miscarriage
Today is the due date for pregnancy #4 and miscarriage #3. It was the last miscarriage I had, and I pray it truly is the last. Two weeks ago, when I talked about miscarriage #2, I dreaded today and thinking about miscarriage #3, but now that it’s here, I’m strangely okay. I think I have to credit it to my last minute change of attitude towards my birthday. Yesterday I turned 37. For months I have been dreading it. It’s not because of getting older. That has never really bothered me and I’ve always felt pretty young at heart (though the toll all these losses has taken out on my body and emotions has made me feel ancient at times), but when you’re trying to build a family, every year that goes by and every year you age, counts. Almost exactly this time last year, I had the go ahead to start trying again after my hysteroscopy and 8-month long drawn out process from miscarriage #2, and now it’s been another year, and another loss. The fact that I had another miscarriage in that time and the due date is the day after my birthday, had me in quite a…Continue reading My Last Miscarriage
A Relaxing Holiday
The past week has been good. Quiet, but relaxing and peaceful. Our family is scattered all over the place with my husband’s parents visiting India right now, his brother in Baltimore, and his sister and my family are all in Canada, so we were on our own for Christmas this year. It’s hard being so far away from family during the Holidays, but with everything going on with us right now, it was nice to be on our own and just relax. We spent a quite Christmas Eve at home with just us and our kitties. We cuddled up on the couch and watched our favorite Christmas movies: It’s a Wonderful Life for my hubby and Miracle of 34th Street for me, and then rounded off the evening with A Christmas Story marathon. We exchanged gifts at midnight and slept in on Christmas morning. Then, after lounging about all morning, we went to a movie in the afternoon and had a lovely dinner with another couple. We had a great meal, played games and just relaxed. It was the laziest Christmas ever. And it was perfect. My lazy Holiday continued through the entire weekend with a few get-togethers with friends and…Continue reading A Relaxing Holiday
And Now We Wait… Again
The past few days have been eventful and uneventful all at the same time. I got my period the day after hearing the news about our embryo, and I got really excited thinking we would be proceeding right away, but then I had my followup appointment with my doctor and I left the conversation feeling a little deflated. The most important fact is we have our one embryo and this is absolutely cause for celebration! We still have a shot at this! We’re still in the game! Before I go over my discussion with Dr, J, I just have to highlight that because this is really great news! However, my conversation with Dr. J was a little sobering and depressing… We went over my history and discussed all my previous pregnancies. We talked a lot about my first pregnancy and how even though our son didn’t survive, it was due to a rare condition of pregnancy, Preeclampsia, and not because of a genetic abnormality, so we know I have some good eggs left. And because I carried him to 27 weeks, we also know I can carry a baby and my uterus works as it should. We also know from my…Continue reading And Now We Wait… Again
And Then There Was One
My doctor emailed me with the results of the PGD testing today, and we have 1 normal embryo out of the final 4. A girl. I immediately burst into tears upon reading the results. I was so relieved and also sad. The other 3 were abnormal and were another girl and 2 boys. My doctor attached the report from the PGD lab with his email and seeing the actual results was rather surreal. Two girls, two boys, but only one with normal chromosomes. My hubby was at work and has to keep his phone off when at work, so I called my Mom and she too burst into tears, so there we were both blubbering on the phone. We’re so relieved that we at least have one shot at this. Thank you God! Above is a picture I took on my walk today. There on the side of a wall was a single pink rose growing on a vine. A single bloom, just like our girl. I took this as a really good sign! Now I wait for my period to come and we’ll hopefully proceed with FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) of our little star. I have a phone appointment…Continue reading And Then There Was One
Still Waiting
I contemplated writing a post tonight since I don’t have any updates, but I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for all your words of encouragement and hope. I was really feeling scared and sad yesterday, but your support really helped bring me out of my funk and renewed my hope. I went out for another long walk today because it really does help clear my head, and because even though I’ve been living here in Southern California for 6 years now, I don’t think I will ever get used the fact that its beautiful and sunny outside in December. Sometimes I miss snow at this time of the year, but then I hear reports of weather being -30 Celsius back home, and I don’t miss it so much. So today on my walk, I took in the smell of fresh cut grass, felt the sun on my skin, and stopped to literally smell (and take pictures of) the flowers, and I thought about all I was thankful for. Foremost on that list is my hubby, who I get to pick up at the airport in 3 hours, and I’m beyond excited to see; our family, especially…Continue reading Still Waiting
Final Four
Dr. J emailed me today with a status report on our embryos. His exact words were “… 4 blastocysts were biopsied. This is a good start.” I honestly didn’t know how to react to this news. The fact that 4 out 11 embryos reached day 5 is a decent percentage (36%), and we were told the average survival rate of embryos reaching 5-day blastocyst in the lab is about 30%, so we’re right where we should be, but will 4 be enough? Will this give us enough of a chance of having at least one healthy embryo after PGD? I’m trying to stay optimistic, but the closer we get to finding out, I’m kind of freaking out a bit. After getting the email. I went for a long walk to clear my head. I was in a real funk. Five days ago, we had 11 possibilities, and now we have four. It really scares me. I also can’t help grieving for those 7 that didn’t make it. These were 7 tiny little lives that we created, and their existence was over so quick. I know I shouldn’t think about it that way. If they didn’t survive to 5-day blast in…Continue reading Final Four
Day 5 Distraction: Finishing a Painting I Started 3 Years Ago
First things first, I have not heard from Dr. J to tell me how many of my embryos survived to today, 5-day blastocyst, and were biopsied for PGD. He said he wouldn’t call until Tuesday, but I really wish he would give me a status update. I’m so anxious to know how they’re doing. I just keep praying, no news is good news. Tuesday, cannot come fast enough! On that note, I definitely needed a good distraction today, so I decided to tackle a project that is very dear to me, but I have been avoiding for over 3 years. Shortly before my first miscarriage and a year after we lost our son, I began a painting in memory of him. Then I found out I was pregnant again and stopped painting because I was worried about the paint fumes. I only paint with acrylic paints so they really aren’t toxic, but I worry and didn’t want to take any chances. Then we miscarried and I just wasn’t in the right head space to resume working on it. And then I had another miscarriage and another, and I just never came back to it. So today, I was wondering what…Continue reading Day 5 Distraction: Finishing a Painting I Started 3 Years Ago
Day 5
It’s 12:30 am, so I’m going to say it’s now day 5. Our sweet embryos should have reached 5-day blastocyst by now or by later today. Fingers cross! Some time today they should be ready. The embryologist will take a small biopsy from the portion of each embryo that will make up the placenta and send it to the PGD lab. I still haven’t heard from Dr J, so praying this means at least some of them are doing well. Either way, we should know soon. Day 4 Distraction Activity: Girls Night! Tonight I’m up late and only posting now because I had some good friends over for a girls night. It was the perfect distraction! It was so great to just relax and spend time catching up. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. It was exactly what I needed. None of the girls have kids yet. They’re not even married yet, and it was just so refreshing to listen to their crazy stories of the dates they’ve been on and the ups and downs of single life. It really put things into perspective for me. For one thing, nobody’s life is perfect. I may not have…Continue reading Day 5
Day 3
Today, my embryos should have reached day 3 blastocyst. I had to physically hold myself back from calling the clinic to see how they’re doing. Typically, the clinic would call with daily reports, but since we’re not planning on transferring until PGD is complete, the stages in between don’t mean too much, and it’s counter productive to talk about how they’re doing right now when it’s the end result we need to know. Of course, that doesn’t prevent me from thinking about them and wondering how they’re doing. It’s taking everything I’ve got to sit tight and try to not think about them 24/7. In this case though, I’m going to stock it up to “no news is good news”, if they weren’t doing well, Dr. J would call to tell me. So at least for now, I have to believe that at least some of them are still going strong. We did everything we could do, now it’s out of our hands. We just have to have faith. In the meantime, I just have to keep distracting myself. Day 3 Distraction Activity: Enjoying Sushi and Curling Up on the Couch with a Good Book My hubby is away for…Continue reading Day 3