Chemical Pregnancy or False Positive?

I have been holding off writing this post until I had more answers, but three days later, I honestly still don’t know what the F really happened. My period was due 4 days ago. By 6PM on that day, there was no sign of AF arriving and I was feeling all the familiar “symptoms” I’ve had with my last 4 pregnancies: weird throbbing headaches, extremely sore breasts and peeing a lot, so I decided to test. I sent my hubby out to get the tests because I had used up all my tests last month when I was frantically hoping for a BFP after my embryo transfer. He came home with the generic CVS brand with blue dye. I wasn’t happy. I only trust First Response Early Result tests not blue dye early result tests. I have heard they can sometimes give false positives. At any rate, this was the only test I had and my hubby was irritated with me for testing at all. He’s of the mindset, we’ll find out when my period is a no show, but since I always have a 26 day cycle and my period is usually in full force by the evening on CD 27 and I had all those weird “symptoms”, I really thought it was time to test. So I proceeded with the CVS brand and got a faint second line right away! This is the type of test that has two lines not a line and plus sign in case anyone is wondering.

PGtest1

False positive? I really don’t think so.

I was beyond shocked and thrilled that this would happen so quickly after our failed FET, but also unsure whether to trust the result because it was a blue dye test. After doing a quick Google search, it appeared that CVS brand tests have the worst reviews for false positives, but upon researching it further it is usually because the user reads the result after the required time frame of 2-10 minutes and and they confuse an evap line with a positive result. It also seems to be that these false positives are gray not blue and they only show up after the 10 minute time frame. My test showed up right away and it is clearly blue. So great, but it still nagged at me so I took another test the next morning. It was positive, but the line was lighter, so much lighter that it doesn’t show up clearly in a photo which is why I haven’t bothered to post an image of the second test. It was really early so I went back to bed and laid there wondering what on earth happened. I wondered if my urine wasn’t as concentrated as it was the night before and that was why it was lighter, but that didn’t really make sense since it was 11 hours after I took the first test and it was FMU (First Morning Urine). So WTF?!! I was completely confused. My period still was a no show and I still felt all the same “symptoms”, so I got up and went to Target as soon as they opened and bought my trusted FRER tests. I then waited 3 hours for my urine to be concentrated enough and did the FRER test. It was negative. There wasn’t even a hint of a second line. I was gutted. All I could think of is either the universe was playing a cruel joke on me and the test I took the night before was a false positive (probably unlikely) or I was experiencing a chemical pregnancy. For those of you who are reading this and don’t know what a chemical pregnancy, it is basically when fertilization occurs and the embryo attaches itself to the uterine wall at least partially so that enough HCG is released into the bloodstream and urine to be picked up on a pregnancy test, but ends before it has a chance to fully implant or before a gestational sac can form. These usually happen between the 4th and 5th week of pregnancy. Before home pregnancy tests were sensitive enough to pick up even the smallest traces of HCG, many women wouldn’t even know that they were pregnant in these cases, unless they had a blood test done, and they would just think it was a late period. Part of me wishes I had listened to my husband and just held off a few more days. This way I could have ignorantly thought I was just having a late period and wouldn’t now know that I likely just had my 4th miscarriage and 5th loss. I guess it was meant to be this way though and I think I would still rather know than not know. So will I wait to test next time? Probably not.

So that was Thursday, but I still had to go through 2 more days of hell before this was confirmed for me. Shortly after taking the FRER test, I began spotting. It was very light and sporadic all day on Thursday and basically the same yesterday with a spurt of pretty bad cramps and slightly heavier spotting around 3pm where a few clots passed, but it didn’t last long and was brown blood not red. The rest of the day was very light spotting and even lighter today. After I first started spotting and got my negative FRER test, it began to sink in what was happening, so I called my doctor’s office and spoke to the nurse. She said, since the test was positive and then negative it was likely a chemical pregnancy, but that I should monitor it and if I still didn’t get full flow by Monday, she wanted me to go in for a blood test. I tried to hold onto hope, thinking maybe the spotting was implantation bleeding and that somehow the CVS brand test was more sensitive then the FRER and that it was still too early for the FRER to pick up the hormone yet. I know, wishful thinking. If none of this was bad enough, my body was really messing with me and adding to my confusion. I still felt “symptoms” and the strangest part was my waking temperature (BBT) remained above my cover line for the past 3 days (3 days after my period was due). This never happens to me. My temp always drops below my cover line the day my period is expected to arrive. Over the years of charting, this has always been the same unless I’ve been pregnant. This was all very promising and I continued to hope. I told myself I would test again today if my BBT remained above my cover line this morning. Well of course it didn’t because the universe is not that nice to me lately. Today, 4 days past my period, it finally dropped way down below my cover line. So I knew it was done. This could not be implantation bleeding if my temp dropped. I took one more test this afternoon just to be certain and it confirmed this. It was negative. So that’s that. It would seem that either the one positive test (I’m not counting that other really faint-barely-there positive test) was a false positive and this was a weird cycle or that that this light sporadic bleeding was a chemical pregnancy coming to an end. I really think it was the latter. If this had been a period, my temps should have dropped 3 days ago and I should have had some red bleeding even if it was light. I never did. It was all light to dark brown. I also read that bleeding after a chemical pregnancy can either be heavier than your period or lighter. The lighter being most likely because there is still progesterone in your system and it can delay or prevent your lining from shedding properly. My continued high temps post ovulation through to 3 days after my period was due, support this theory. Therefore, I really think that spurt of cramping and clots I passed yesterday were likely it and that’s why my temp dropped today.

So that’s that. I have been dreading writing this post. I was excited on Wednesday when I got that BFP and was going to make my announcement on Thursday. Even with my blog being public, I decided to announce it because I no longer want to hide my pregnancies, but then everything went wrong on Thursday, and I didn’t know what my story was anymore. It now appears that I now have another loss to deal with. The strange part is that while the past 3 days have been hell, I’m surprisingly okay with this one. I think it’s because it happened so quickly. All my other miscarriages were missed miscarriages. I only found out at my first (or second or third), ultrasound that we had lost the baby and then it took several more weeks of monitoring and then required medical intervention to make it end. This time it happened quickly and I didn’t need surgery or medication. I’m already ready to move on. This was not unexpected. We know I have bad eggs and that this is more likely to happen than not, and at least this way, we found out right away rather than have it drag out.

So what does moving forward mean?

My parents are visiting, so it’s really hard to take a moment and grieve right now. They are incredibly supportive, but I don’t really process things like this with people around. I need time on my own to do this. I plan on taking some time on Monday after they leave to reflect on everything that has happened over the past few days, but I refuse to let it bring me down anymore. I might feel differently tomorrow or in a few days when all of this really sinks in, but right now, I’m okay. I’m definitely better then I was yesterday and even this morning. And since this seems to be over already and I feel fine physically, I think we’re going to try again right away. I don’t want to waste any more of my already shitty and diminished eggs. So… if I’m counting the first day of spotting as cycle day 1 for a new cycle, then I’m CD 3 today. I will not be able to do the Clomid cycle this month because I’m supposed to start it on CD 2 so we missed our day to start. Having said that, we’re not sure we want to proceed with the Clomid anyway. My husband and I were really relieved when I got that BFP on Wednesday because we wouldn’t have to go back to the RE and do any more fertility treatments for a while. We didn’t realize that our pregnancy would end before it really began, but it did make us realize how much we were both dreading going back to see Dr. J. It’s not him really, it’s just that we both felt really let down by the whole process, and since we clearly get pregnant on our own and we were only doing IVF so we could test our embryos, we’ve decided to save our money for now and take our chances on our own for a while. We’ll see how long this plan lasts and how many more losses we have in the meantime, but for now this is the new plan. And this way we can save our money for donor eggs just in case we end up having to go that route in a few years.

I’m going to sign off now. I’m so drained after the past few days of worrying. Thank you so much to my good friend (you know who you are) and my sister in-law (another good friend) for checking in on me so much over the past few days and for A Calm Persistence for checking in on me today when I mentioned on her blog that I was having a bad week. If you haven’t seen her blog post today A Morning in Pictures, she posted an image of a rainbow behind her pill box of fertility supplements. It was a very powerful image of hope for me today. I cannot say in enough words how much the support of all my family and friends, and now my new blogging friends, mean to me. I honestly believe all of this is a little easier because of all of you. I wish I had started blogging years ago!

36 thoughts on “Chemical Pregnancy or False Positive?

  1. Oh girl my heart broke for you as I read this post. I had the same thing happen to me last summer :/. I am praying no more losses! Only healthy babies!! Hugs!!

  2. I’m so, so sorry.. When you said you had a rough week I was worrying it was another loss. I don’t even know what made me think that. Maybe because when you’ve gone through so much it takes a lot for you to say it’s a rough week. This just breaks my heart. I get what you’re saying though. My second miscarriage needed nothing. HCG were dropping and it wasn’t a long process. I was hurt emotionally, but fine physically. I agree that you should just keep trying again. I also think your plan makes complete sense-it’s exactly what I would do.

    I so wish we lived closer.. Sending big hugs! To think, I thought no one would even care about my post today and was only really posting it for me.. I’m so glad I included that picture too, I almost left it out..

    Saying prayers for you tonight. 🙂

    1. Aw thanks hon! I so wish we lived closer too! It’s true and so sad that it takes a lot for us to say it’s a hard week. It just sucks. Thank you so much for your support. It really means so much. I’m doing okay. As best as I can I guess. I know I’ll get through this. I always do and I still believe we’ll catch a good egg eventually. I’m never letting go of that hope (for any of us). I just can’t. Big hug back!

  3. Whoa! It didn’t occur to me that it might be another loss, I’m so sorry sweets. I used those CVS tests and FRER’s with my chemical, and they both had faint positives with a beta of 5–I would trust your gut that it was a chemical. Wish I could think of the right thing to say. You’re on my heart babe, you & DH & your angels. *hugs* XO

    1. I know, I’m sorry I didn’t explain in further detail earlier. It was just such a long story, I figured I would wait until tonight when I was able to sit down and write it all out. You don’t need to say anything, I know exactly what this feels like and your support means so much. Much love back!

  4. oh that oompletely stinks. : ( I’m so so sorry. i tend to think a positive is a positive, but i’ve never used the CVS tests. my heart goes out to you. Mo

    1. Thanks hon. I think because the result came up right away, and with everything else that happened, you are probably right. Sigh…

      1. P.s. I just loved your post today. I’m so happy you finally had your miracle baby after all you’ve been through. I can’t believe that anonymous poster! I’m so happy you proved them wrong! Your story gives me so much hope. Also, I have a Google+ account but I can’t seem to figure out how to subscribe to your blog!

        Never mind! I figured it out 🙂

  5. I am so sorry this happened. I would trust yourself too – it sounds exactly like a chemical. I went through this with our January IVF and it was really sad and infuriating at the same time, I’m not saying if sound be better to miscarry a few weeks later but it feels do deeply unfair, like Lucy pulling the football out when Charlie Brown tries to kick it. Cruel and unfair.

    I admire your hood and perseverance. And of course I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Just waiting for that good egg!

    1. It’s so true. That’s exactly what this feels like! That is the perfect analogy. Either way, it’s cruel and unfair. I’m so tired of all of this. Praying for you too hon. May we both get that good egg soon!

  6. I am so very sorry for you both. What a horrible roller coaster ride. I hate this and I hate that these things happen to some of the best women and couples I know. It makes me so angry. But I try to take hope that the journey will have a perfect and right ending, even with all of the road blocks and bumps and heartache. Take care of yourself, lady, and know that I am thinking of you and also mourning this.

    1. Thanks so much hon.. I hate it so much too. None of us deserve this. Praying so hard you are right. We all need our perfect ending. It’s about time already!

  7. I am so sorry for all of your losses. I just happened upon your blog this evening and I don’t know all of your back story so please forgive me if this suggestion is something you have already done. I am a HELLP survivor as well and I know that a lot of women who have HELLP have clotting disorders that lead to miscarriage If they don’t use heparin injections during pregnancy. it sounds like you have had great prenatal care and I would imagine that you have been tested for clotting disorders but I hated to leave it unsaid if not. wishing you all the best.

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and for your suggestions! Your thoughts mean so much and this is a great suggestion that I definitely would have wanted to know about if I didn’t already know so thanks for sharing!

      Unfortunately, I have been tested for clotting disorders several times and the results have always come back normal. To be on the safe side, I even took baby aspirin when pregnant with the last pregnancy before this latest one, but it didn’t help. It’s been determined that I have low ovarian reserve and that my egg quality is poor, and seems to be the cause of my last 4 losses. We even did IVF so we could test our embryos for genetic abnormalities and out of 11 embryos, only 4 made it to blastocyst and of those 4, only 1 was normal. Unfortunately, I didn’t become pregnant with that 1 normal embryo, but the testing made it pretty clear that our problem is pointing to poor egg quality. My husband tested normal and we have a high fertilization rate so we know he’s fine. We’ve been pregnant 5 times on our own and 95% of my eggs that we retrieved with IVF were fertilized. You could say we’re really fertile, but my eggs are bad so we keep having losses. So… we’re back to trying on our own and taking our chances now. It’s hard to believe we had a chemical pregnancy our first month back to trying on our own, but this latest loss was not unexpected and as hard as it is, I’m just relieved it ended quickly this time and didn’t drag out or require a D and C like my last miscarriages. Hopefully we’ll catch a good egg eventually.

      I’m so sorry you had HELLP syndrome too. I pray that you and your baby are okay now! My first pregnancy was the only one that went past the first trimester, but I lost my son because of HELLP Syndrome. They have no idea why I had it and why there was no warning before I had to have my emergency c-section at 27 weeks. All the tests they did afterward for predisposing factors came back normal. It’s still unexplained. It’s such a terrible complication of pregnancy. I wish none of us had to go through that. And I’m so sorry you had to as well. Hugs.

      1. my heart breaks for you and what you are having to go through. i had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy that required a d&c and then the six months it took for us to get pregnant again seemed like an eternity. that pregnancy was successful and i only had complications postpartum. when we decided to try to have another child it took over a year to conceive and then we had complications early on that led to us finding out we had a miscarriage and finding a viable twin that we did not know about at the same time. things did not look good for that surprise twin either but she miraculously continued to grow and she is my preemie that had to be delivered at 28 weeks due to HELLP. after having HELLP with my youngest we realized that the postpartum complications i had the first time around were due to undiagnosed HELLP. i am blessed beyond measure to have survived twice and have two healthy children and it breaks my heart to hear about the stories that don’t have good outcomes. our faith in God and relationship with Christ are the only things that have gotten us through the roller coaster of miscarriages, HELLP, the nicu, and then waiting for every milestone with our micro preemie wondering if she will have complications. i don’t understand why some have to endure so much to become mothers and why it is so easy for others but i have learned that God is bigger than all of those things. i truly have learned that His plan and timing are perfect but I’m pretty sure if someone had tried to tell me that while i was waiting for a year to get pregnant again and facing disappointment month after month i may have punched them in the face. thank you for sharing your story. going through hard times and knowing you are not alone or the crazy person that you sometimes feel like is so valuable. i will be praying for you and your husband.
        Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the Father who is full of mercy, the God of all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble so that when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

        1. Oh hon, I’m so sorry for all you have had to go through too. Our son fought for 3 months in the NICU before succumbing to to infection. It was the craziest and hardest time of our lives. The emotional roller coaster was unreal. I’m so relieved your daughter pulled through and is doing well, and that you are okay too. Postpartum eeclampisa is very dangerous. I can’t believe they didn’t catch it with your first! So scary!

          It’s funny, my faith really did waver during that time, but after my son past away, it became stronger than ever. I just know he’s with God now. Thank you so much for your prayers. I know God will get us through this. Xo

  8. So, so, so sorry. I cannot imagine the roller coaster of emotions you’ve felt over the last several days. Praying for a healthy you, and for healthy babies for you.

    1. Thank you Logan. I just subscribed to your blog. I’m so happy to see you’re pregnant and doing well! It’s such and inspiration! I will be praying for your continued health with this pregnancy and for your sweet Bonnie. Hugs!

  9. Hi, there! I followed you over from Amber Under Construction. I have seen your name here and there and have checked in on your blog a few times. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through this time of confusion, of getting excited and then becoming disappointed. I’m so sorry for all that you’ve been through and I pray that God will bless you very, very soon! I’m adding you to my blog roll so that I can keep reading along. I will be praying for your journey!! **HUGS**

    1. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers and for following my journey. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss too. I have added you to my blog roll as well and will be praying for you too! Big hug back!

  10. Oh Hun, I’m filled with so much emotion reading this post, I’m overwhelmed. I am sending you strength and thinking of you so much right now. So many hugs xxx

    1. Thanks hon. It hasn’t been a great weekend, but I’m doing okay. As hard as it is to accept, it is a blessing that it didn’t last long and drag out this time. It’s awful that this is just part of my journey now and something I have to accept as the norm for me, but it does make it easier to deal with. I’m not giving up, but I have such low expectations these days. Sigh… on to the next one. Big hug back!

      P.s., I’m so beyond happy for you! I think about you constantly and continue to pray for you and little Nacho. You keep my hope going hon <3

      1. I can completely understand where you’re coming from. It’s like some evil lottery or roulette where we roll the dice with precious human lives. How many is too many? How long can we endure it? It’s heartbreaking and I completely understand. I feel your sadness as my own.
        Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I can’t tell you how much it means to me, it brings tears to my eyes every time. Sending you so much love xxx

  11. Oh honey, I am so sorry! What a rolller-coaster! So agonizing..I’m hurting for you. Truly. I pray that you get a chance to heal and process, soon. Your plans sounds great. I am truly praying that God gives you the desires of your heart! Hang in there, friend. We are right there with you! xoxo

  12. I am so very, very sorry that you are experiencing yet another loss. This is more than one person should ever have to go though. I pray for strength for you during this time.

Comments are closed.