myhopejar is moving

This is not the long overdue update I should be posting. Instead it’s just a quick update to let anyone who is still reading this blog that is moving from to so I can manage and host the blog myself. Why am I making this change? Well there are many of reasons. However, the most practical reason is money. I just purchased a new hosting plan for my company site and have shut it down and am now in the process of rebuilding/redesigning my company site. One of the perks/incentives for moving hosting companies for my company site is I can host as many sites as I want and my new hosting company advertises themselves as the best hosting company for wordpress sites. So it just makes sense to move too. I can save myself the fee I pay to every year and have full control of my site if I move it to and host it myself. The other reason, is this move is forcing me to stop avoiding my blog because I’m so embarrassed I haven’t written in so long and finally write something! The timing is also perfect because it’s my […]

I'm Still Here

To say this is post is overdue is a gross understatement. Archer is nearly a year old and since his birth I’ve written four updates. Four. It’s absolutely shameful! So why the long absence? Honestly, it’s rather complicated. I actually have many drafts saved, but somehow I never published any of them. One reason for my long absence is work. Working from home seems like such a great idea when you want to be at home with your baby and still try to bring in an income, but what I didn’t realize before little man was born, is it’s really hard to manage a client workload and take care of your baby at the same time. When I have a tight deadline, I have to squeeze in work when Archer is napping or after he goes to bed. My days are long, sometimes going from 6 am when Archer wakes up, until midnight or later and this doesn’t include when Archer wakes in the middle of the night. Arun is a very helpful hubby and daddy but he doesn’t have the best schedule so some days go better than others. Thankfully, little man sleeps well. He naps and sleeps through […]

Wave of Light on October 15th: International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

   I have been terrible at updating this blog, but tonight I had to write a quick post in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. On this day, around the world, people are participating in the Wave of Light by lighting candles for their babies in heaven. Tonight I read Archer his usual bedtime story but instead of Guess How Much I Love You or one of our other favorites, I read to him Someone Came Before you. This is another book we read often. Holdon is always on my mind and I want Archer to know about him. After Archer went down, I lit 5 candles, one for Holdon, and one for each of my miscarriages. I know our angels are with us  and feeling the warmth and love being shared around the world tonight. I’m also thinking about all the little angels around the world who were taken from their parents too soon and sending love and prayers to them and their families.💛 Image credit: Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc. ([/caption]

Long Overdue Update

It’s been so long since I posted an update, I really don’t even know where to begin. First of all, everything is good. Archer is doing well and growing like a weed. He’s exceeding milestones and seems to be growing and changing every single day. At his 2-month check up, he was in the 99th percentile for height and 53rd for weight. He’s made up for his slow start to gaining weight and then some! We have his next well baby appointment on Monday, which I’m really looking forward to and dreading at the same time. I can’t wait to see how much he’s grown, but I’m dreading his next round of vaccinations. His 2-month vaccinations were brutal. He cried so much after he got them and had a fever for 3 days. I really hope it won’t be as bad this time around. Now, to why I haven’t written in so long… breastfeeding. This has not gone as I had envisioned. Archer still likes to camp out on the breast for well over an hour and I still can’t seem to produce enough milk for him. In order to have some sanity and time to get a few things […]

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

Happy New Year everyone! I can’t believe it’s been a month since my last update and Archer is already almost 5 weeks old! I feel like such a delinquent blogger! I actually sat down to write this post so many times, but Archer would need me and I never got around to finishing it. I want to start off by saying a big thank you to everyone for all your love and support. I am completely overwhelmed by all your comments and I just wanted to send you all so much love back! <3  I attempted to reply to all your comments but only half of my responses updated. Please know I wasn’t ignoring you! The WordPress app can be so finicky sometimes! I told myself I wouldn’t let my blog slide after our little miracle was born, but somehow that’s exactly what happened. I feel so bad especially with so much going on with all of you! Please know I am still reading all your posts and even though I haven’t been commenting as often as I usually do, I’m constantly thinking about all of you. I have no excuse for not writing. Everything is great with Archer and […]

Our Miracle Boy is Here!

I am so sorry for the delay posting this update. The past 2 days have gone by in a blur. I had hoped to write a detailed post, but it’s not easy from my phone. So I thought I would at least post an update with his name and some pics and then I’ll post the complete birth details when I get back home and settled. Our miracle boy is here! And we are in complete awe of him. Archer Holdon Regunathan was born at 7:31 am on December 16th weighing 6lbs 15 oz and 19 inches long. He’s a good size for 3 weeks early, but not the giant baby we thought he’d be, proving just how inaccurate the measurements can be on the ultrasound. I will post more details soon. Thank you everyone for all your love and support. If you want to keep up with us over the next few days or just see more photos, you can find me on Facebook under my name (Johanne Regunathan).

The Best Anniversary Present Ever

On Monday evening around 8pm I was walking into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and my water broke! I felt a gush of liquid. Thought, huh what was that? And then it happened again. I must have made a weird sound because my husband came running in to check on me. I just shook my head and said “I think my water broke or maybe I just peed my pants. I don’t know!” So here’s a little fact that I didn’t know until tonight and they really don’t explain in any of the books I’ve read, when your water breaks, the fluid will keep coming until you deliver. I did not know that. When I called the after-hours nurse at L&D, she informed me of this fact and told me to put a pad on to make sure. If fluid continued to come out in an hour timespan, it was my waters and to come in. I soaked through 3 pads in an hour so it seemed that yes, this was indeed my waters and we were starting labor 3 weeks early (2 weeks before our planned c-section). So I had a quick shower since I […]

Sacred Project

Jasmine at, posted this today and it really moved me. Jasmine is 1 of the 497 women in the video. Repeatedly you hear the word “sacred”, repeatedly you see the art of “sacred” bellies. It represents all of us, mothers who have lost babies. No more shame, no more guilt, no more silence. On the graves of our little ones, we rise up and say, “I am sacred because of you.” Please share this video and spread the word. I am a sacred space because of Holdon and my other 4 angels in Heaven. <3

35 Weeks!

It’s so hard to believe but I am 35 weeks pregnant today! I NEVER thought I would get this far and each day we progress with this pregnancy and get closer to finally meeting little man is such a miracle to me. We had our weekly appointment with Dr. S yesterday and all is just perfect with our little guy and he’s measuring close to 7lbs at 6lbs 14 oz. He’s such a big boy already! I’m starting to wonder if he’ll fit into any of the newborn clothes we have or if he’ll skip it all and go straight for the next size up! I decided it was probably a good idea to get my hospital bag ready just in case he decides to come early since he’s measuring so far ahead, and I’m having a bit of a dilemma. I don’t want to bring too much with me to the hospital, but thinking I need to bring different sizes of clothes for baby just in case. And I still can’t believe these are the things I’m worrying about these days. Two months ago, I still worried, Pre-e and HELLP would rear it’s ugly head again and I would […]