This post has been sitting in my drafts since August. I’ve modified it a couple times because of updates in my life, but as more and more time went by and more and more happened, it became harder to finish it and hit “Publish”. At first it was just a quick post about moving my blog and I just hadn’t finished writing it, then I did finish writing it and things happened so I modified it, and then more things happened that made me take a big pause and I’m only just finishing it now. In truth, this post should really be 3 posts but if I separate them and think about this too much more, I’ll never submit this post so here it goes… First and foremost, it’s official, Myhopejar.com has moved! I now host my blog on my own hosting plan rather than through wordpress.com. The entire process was not without hiccups and definitely gave me a few frustrations along the way, but for the most part it was pretty easy, and there is so much more I can do with the way my site is built and functions now that it’s self hosted. Perhaps the biggest frustration I’ve encountered is…Continue reading My Hope Jar Moved and Major Updates
July 20th
Dear Holdon, On this day 6 years ago, I held you for the last time. No matter how much time passes, it never gets easier to know I’ll never get to hold you again. Today, I sit here snuggling your little brother and it’s still not easier. I wish so badly you were here to snuggle too. Due to your severe prematurity, you had so many tubes and wires all over you. You even had a tube to breathe for you, and because of that, I was only allowed to hold you five times. Five. What I would give for just one more snuggle… On October 16th, 2009. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We were so happy and a little scared of what kind of parents we would be. Little did we know then, that our journey into parenthood would take years and those little fears all parents have when they learn they’ll be parents were nothing compared to the fears to come. The pregnancy started off normal and healthy and we sailed through the first trimester without any issues. We made it to 27 weeks and then the pregnancy took a drastic turn. I got…Continue reading July 20th
myhopejar is moving
This is not the long overdue update I should be posting. Instead it’s just a quick update to let anyone who is still reading this blog that myhopejar.com is moving from wordpress.com to wordpress.org so I can manage and host the blog myself. Why am I making this change? Well there are many of reasons. However, the most practical reason is money. I just purchased a new hosting plan for my company site and have shut it down and am now in the process of rebuilding/redesigning my company site. One of the perks/incentives for moving hosting companies for my company site is I can host as many sites as I want and my new hosting company advertises themselves as the best hosting company for wordpress sites. So it just makes sense to move myhopejar.com too. I can save myself the fee I pay to wordpress.com every year and have full control of my site if I move it to wordpress.org and host it myself. The other reason, is this move is forcing me to stop avoiding my blog because I’m so embarrassed I haven’t written in so long and finally write something! The timing is also perfect because it’s my…Continue reading myhopejar is moving
I'm Still Here
To say this is post is overdue is a gross understatement. Archer is nearly a year old and since his birth I’ve written four updates. Four. It’s absolutely shameful! So why the long absence? Honestly, it’s rather complicated. I actually have many drafts saved, but somehow I never published any of them. One reason for my long absence is work. Working from home seems like such a great idea when you want to be at home with your baby and still try to bring in an income, but what I didn’t realize before little man was born, is it’s really hard to manage a client workload and take care of your baby at the same time. When I have a tight deadline, I have to squeeze in work when Archer is napping or after he goes to bed. My days are long, sometimes going from 6 am when Archer wakes up, until midnight or later and this doesn’t include when Archer wakes in the middle of the night. Arun is a very helpful hubby and daddy but he doesn’t have the best schedule so some days go better than others. Thankfully, little man sleeps well. He naps and sleeps through…Continue reading I'm Still Here
Wave of Light on October 15th: International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
I have been terrible at updating this blog, but tonight I had to write a quick post in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. On this day, around the world, people are participating in the Wave of Light by lighting candles for their babies in heaven. Tonight I read Archer his usual bedtime story but instead of Guess How Much I Love You or one of our other favorites, I read to him Someone Came Before you. This is another book we read often. Holdon is always on my mind and I want Archer to know about him. After Archer went down, I lit 5 candles, one for Holdon, and one for each of my miscarriages. I know our angels are with us and feeling the warmth and love being shared around the world tonight. I’m also thinking about all the little angels around the world who were taken from their parents too soon and sending love and prayers to them and their families.? Image credit: Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc. (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Share-Pregnancy-Infant-Loss-Support-Inc/112835372099879)[/caption]
Long Overdue Update
It’s been so long since I posted an update, I really don’t even know where to begin. First of all, everything is good. Archer is doing well and growing like a weed. He’s exceeding milestones and seems to be growing and changing every single day. At his 2-month check up, he was in the 99th percentile for height and 53rd for weight. He’s made up for his slow start to gaining weight and then some! We have his next well baby appointment on Monday, which I’m really looking forward to and dreading at the same time. I can’t wait to see how much he’s grown, but I’m dreading his next round of vaccinations. His 2-month vaccinations were brutal. He cried so much after he got them and had a fever for 3 days. I really hope it won’t be as bad this time around. Now, to why I haven’t written in so long… breastfeeding. This has not gone as I had envisioned. Archer still likes to camp out on the breast for well over an hour and I still can’t seem to produce enough milk for him. In order to have some sanity and time to get a few things…Continue reading Long Overdue Update
Time Flies When You're Having Fun!
Happy New Year everyone! I can’t believe it’s been a month since my last update and Archer is already almost 5 weeks old! I feel like such a delinquent blogger! I actually sat down to write this post so many times, but Archer would need me and I never got around to finishing it. I want to start off by saying a big thank you to everyone for all your love and support. I am completely overwhelmed by all your comments and I just wanted to send you all so much love back! <3 I attempted to reply to all your comments but only half of my responses updated. Please know I wasn’t ignoring you! The WordPress app can be so finicky sometimes! I told myself I wouldn’t let my blog slide after our little miracle was born, but somehow that’s exactly what happened. I feel so bad especially with so much going on with all of you! Please know I am still reading all your posts and even though I haven’t been commenting as often as I usually do, I’m constantly thinking about all of you. I have no excuse for not writing. Everything is great with Archer and…Continue reading Time Flies When You're Having Fun!
Our Miracle Boy is Here!
I am so sorry for the delay posting this update. The past 2 days have gone by in a blur. I had hoped to write a detailed post, but it’s not easy from my phone. So I thought I would at least post an update with his name and some pics and then I’ll post the complete birth details when I get back home and settled. Our miracle boy is here! And we are in complete awe of him. Archer Holdon Regunathan was born at 7:31 am on December 16th weighing 6lbs 15 oz and 19 inches long. He’s a good size for 3 weeks early, but not the giant baby we thought he’d be, proving just how inaccurate the measurements can be on the ultrasound. I will post more details soon. Thank you everyone for all your love and support. If you want to keep up with us over the next few days or just see more photos, you can find me on Facebook under my name (Johanne Regunathan).
The Best Anniversary Present Ever
On Monday evening around 8pm I was walking into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and my water broke! I felt a gush of liquid. Thought, huh what was that? And then it happened again. I must have made a weird sound because my husband came running in to check on me. I just shook my head and said “I think my water broke or maybe I just peed my pants. I don’t know!” So here’s a little fact that I didn’t know until tonight and they really don’t explain in any of the books I’ve read, when your water breaks, the fluid will keep coming until you deliver. I did not know that. When I called the after-hours nurse at L&D, she informed me of this fact and told me to put a pad on to make sure. If fluid continued to come out in an hour timespan, it was my waters and to come in. I soaked through 3 pads in an hour so it seemed that yes, this was indeed my waters and we were starting labor 3 weeks early (2 weeks before our planned c-section). So I had a quick shower since I…Continue reading The Best Anniversary Present Ever
Sacred Project
Jasmine at http://walkwithjasmine.wordpress.com, posted this today and it really moved me. Jasmine is 1 of the 497 women in the video. Repeatedly you hear the word “sacred”, repeatedly you see the art of “sacred” bellies. It represents all of us, mothers who have lost babies. No more shame, no more guilt, no more silence. On the graves of our little ones, we rise up and say, “I am sacred because of you.” Please share this video and spread the word. I am a sacred space because of Holdon and my other 4 angels in Heaven. <3