16 Weeks

We’re 16 Weeks pregnant today! I’m super excited, but have also been feeling pretty awful today. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling pretty nauseous, and it has lasted most of day. I’m feeling a bit better tonight, thank goodness. I have no idea where this came from, but guess nausea can still happen in the second trimester. I am not complaining, but that will teach me for feeling nervous that the nausea had subsided and being worried that I was feeling too good! Anyway, now for my 16 Week progress report… How far along?  16 Weeks Total weight gain? 3 lbs Maternity clothes? I’m kind of 50/50 on this. I’m wearing some maternity tops, but still getting away with regular clothes for the most part. Yoga pants/shorts, leggings, and jersey skirts and dresses are definitely my go to clothes right now 🙂 I was still able to button my jeans the last time I tried them on, but that was about 2 weeks ago. I have a feeling I’ll need my belly band for those now until I’m really ready for maternity jeans. Stretch marks? Not yet. I’ve adapted/perfected my homemade belly butter recipe…Continue reading 16 Weeks

15 Weeks 3 Days

First of all, thank you everyone for all your kind words and support over my last post. I was really in a funk about the anniversary of Holdon’s death coming up on July 20th and feeling kind of down, but I’m doing so much better today. I’m sure this Sunday is still going to be pretty hard, but I’m feeling much better about the day now then I was last weekend.   Okay, now for a quick update on today’s doctor appointment. Feel free to sign off here if pregnancy updates are too hard to read right now.   ***Pregnancy Update Below***   We had our regular followup appointment with Dr. S. today and it went really well! After a brief conversation about how we’re doing, she got down to business and did an ultrasound and all is good with baby 🙂 I was so relieved! I had managed to work myself up into quite a ball of worry again, and felt the tension leave my body as soon as our little guy came up on the screen. He is so big and really active! Dr. S asked me if I was feeling any movement yet because he was really moving…Continue reading 15 Weeks 3 Days

One Year Anniversary of Blogging

Last night I got this message from WordPress:   I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I first began this blog and all that has happened. Naturally, getting this message from WordPress caused me to reflect on things a bit… Exactly one year ago, I had just suffered my fourth lost in three years. We were mourning the death of my infant son due to prematurity as a result of HELLP Syndrome, followed by 3 back to back miscarriages. I had hit an all time low and was tired of living in silence about it. I was about to embark on IVF and PGD to test our embryos in hopes of preventing another loss, and also just days after that first post, I had the 3 year anniversary of Holdon’s death to deal with. To say I was in a really bad place at that time, is a bit of an understatement. Little did I know that in the next year, our journey with IVF with PGD would fail and while I don’t regret doing it, it was a lot of money for nothing in the end; then we’d cautiously start trying on our own again, only to…Continue reading One Year Anniversary of Blogging

12 Weeks 5 Days

I’m 12 Weeks 5 Days pregnant today! It’s so hard to believe! I’m only 2 days away from closing out my 13th week and starting the second trimester! I think. I’m not the only one who seems to be confused about this.  Does the second trimester begin at 13 weeks or 14 weeks? I think it begins at 13 weeks, I.e., 13 weeks 1 day. I think the confusion stems from the fact that in most of the literature, the 14th week begins at 13 Weeks 1 Day so when some resources say 14 weeks, I think they actually mean the 14th week, not at exactly 14 weeks. Does this make sense? All my pregnancy books indicate that the second trimester begins on Sunday at the start of my 14th week (13 Weeks 1 Day). Baby Center says 14 Weeks, but it’s not clear if they mean at the start of the 14th week or the end. Ah! It’s all so confusing! So I’ve decided to just pick one and I’m choosing to go with 13 Weeks. So Saturday will mark the end of the first trimester and Sunday will mark the beginning of the second. Is that cheating? Thoughts?…Continue reading 12 Weeks 5 Days

9 Weeks 5 Days and All is Good!

Our final appointment with Dr. K and scan today went really well! Our little bean looks amazing! He or she is still measuring a few days ahead of schedule at 9 Weeks, 5 Days today, and was moving his or her little arms all over the place. It was the most amazing sight ever! I had worked myself up into such a nervous mess before my appointment today, and the clinic, which is usually always right on schedule, was a half hour behind. I realize this is really not that long of a wait, but it was torture today! By the time the doctor walked into our room, I thought I would burst from anxiety, so when our little bean came up on the screen and Dr. K, said everything looked great, I completely lost it and bawled my eyes out. I can’t believe we’ve made it this far! I’m so relieved! Thank you God! Thank you, thank you! We still have a long way to go and if we get far enough along, I’ll have the re-occurrence of HELLP Syndrome to worry about too, but the progress we’ve made so far is huge! I’m still so nervous, but have…Continue reading 9 Weeks 5 Days and All is Good!

Jelly Bean is 7 Weeks 4 Days!

We had our second scan today and Jelly Bean is still doing great! He or she is still measuring a couple days ahead of schedule at 7 weeks 4 days and the little heart was beating away good and strong. Oh, and the mystery second sphere from last weeks’ scan was not visible at all today, so I’m now satisfied with the mirror image explanation from last week and we only have one sac and one baby which is just fine! With my history of HELLP Syndrome, it’s very dangerous for me to carry multiples so I’m actually very relieved. Dr K said everything looks really great. She even asked us if we wanted to move onto our regular OB from this point on. This was a natural pregnancy so I know some of the staff at Dr. K’s office are probably wondering what I’m doing there since she’s an RE and is really hard to book time with, but she was the first specialist I saw for Recurrent Pregnancy Loss and I just feel like I still need a little extra hand holding right now, so we decided to go back to Dr. K for one more scan in…Continue reading Jelly Bean is 7 Weeks 4 Days!

Jelly Bean Lives!

We had our first ultrasound today and so far our little Jelly Bean is good! More than good! He or she is measuring a few days ahead of schedule at 6 Weeks 5 days and my due date has been moved up from January 6 to January 3rd! We didn’t measure the heartbeat today because Dr. K said they’ve stopped putting the Doppler on the heartbeat this early. She didn’t go into a lot of detail as to why, but I’m rolling with it. I was a little disappointed, but we could all see that the little heart was beating good and strong and Dr. K said it looked like it’s well over a 100 which is where we want it to be at this stage. So for now we’ll have to settle for just seeing the heartbeat. Which was AMAZING! I know we have a long way to go, but for today, everything is perfect. Yay! Thank you, God! Now, you might be noticing that there’s another sphere in the image that looks a lot like another sac. We all took a double take when the image first came up on screen. This is a natural pregnancy so that…Continue reading Jelly Bean Lives!

First Ultrasound Is Tomorrow!

Our first ultrasound is tomorrow! I can’t believe we’re finally here, and now that we are, I’m feeling so anxious again! All in all, I’m still feeling really awful which is encouraging, but I think it as more to do with this crazy heat wave we’ve had in combination with being pregnant, than pregnancy symptoms alone. It was 97 ° F  today and our air conditioning is still not working! Okay, so here’s where I need to rant for a bit… I had a guy here to troubleshoot and repair my system last week and he identified that our freon tank was rempty. I was furious because we had someone out here last fall and they identified that we needed a new coil. We replaced the coil in November and he ran a test and told us everything was perfect. So imagine my frustration when I turn on my AC last week for the first time since then and it didn’t work! And even more frustrating, the new repair man told me my tank was empty! He refilled the tank, and said all was good, or so I thought.  But then I go to turn on my AC again yesterday,…Continue reading First Ultrasound Is Tomorrow!

Facing Mother's Day With Empty Arms

Mother’s Day is a beautiful day to celebrate our mothers and all they do for us. I know I will be thinking about my own mother on Sunday and remembering all she has done for me over the years of my life. It goes beyond just the years she raised me. The support and love my mom has given me in these recent years that have been some of the most difficult years of my life, has shown me how a mother’s love and care never ends. She has prayed with me, celebrated with me and grieved with me. I feel so blessed to have this amazing woman as my mother and I wanted to begin this post by saying a special thank you to her. Thank you Mom for being all that you are. I love you more than I can ever express in words. However, this day is more than a just a day to celebrate my Mom. For me, it’s also about my own journey into motherhood. It’s a day to remember my son and each of my babies in Heaven. The memories are beautiful, but also incredibly painful. It’s a reminder of what could have been.…Continue reading Facing Mother's Day With Empty Arms

"Let Your Faith Be Bigger Than Your Fear"

The past few days have been rough. I’m so tired and emotional. The hubby and I had a fight over something stupid yesterday morning and I spent the rest of the day crying while trying to work. I’ve been crying a lot the past few days. I can’t even say why exactly, I guess it’s just the extra hormones and worry. I’m still feeling symptoms, but they seem to come and go. The only constant symptom is exhaustion which seems to be getting worse. I want to crawl right back into bed and sleep the day away right after getting up every day. I’m so happy to feel it because it’s the only reassurance I have that this might be okay. It’s been challenging getting anything done though. As for the other symptoms, they come and go. It’s very disconcerting, and I feel like I’m having an emotional breakdown. One minute I feel positive that this time is going to be different, but then I remember that I have bad eggs and the odds of this going well aren’t great. This is my 6th pregnancy and I have no living children. I’m not sure I can handle another loss. I’m…Continue reading "Let Your Faith Be Bigger Than Your Fear"