The Difference A Day Can Make

First of all, I want to thank all the ladies who commented on my WTF is My Body Doing? post from yesterday. All your support and advice really helped ease my mind and I was able to fall asleep easily last night instead of worrying about what my waking temp would be today. And sure enough, my temp went way up to 98.0 this morning! There’s no mistaking that temp shift. Whew! So if it remains high, then I can confirm that I ovulated some time yesterday. I’m feeling pretty foolish for putting that post up yesterday and seeing my temp go up today. Talk about jumping the gun! I really think my body was having a good laugh at my expense, but at least I know I’m back on track with only a few days delay and all your advice really helped! Image source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/328551735287917191/ After seeing that temp shift, I turned off my alarm and fell back to sleep until 10:00. It was bliss! I haven’t been able to sleep in that late in ages, and I can’t believe what a difference it has made in my mood today. So now I’m back in the dreaded TWW again, but…Continue reading The Difference A Day Can Make

Chemical Pregnancy or False Positive?

I have been holding off writing this post until I had more answers, but three days later, I honestly still don’t know what the F really happened. My period was due 4 days ago. By 6PM on that day, there was no sign of AF arriving and I was feeling all the familiar “symptoms” I’ve had with my last 4 pregnancies: weird throbbing headaches, extremely sore breasts and peeing a lot, so I decided to test. I sent my hubby out to get the tests because I had used up all my tests last month when I was frantically hoping for a BFP after my embryo transfer. He came home with the generic CVS brand with blue dye. I wasn’t happy. I only trust First Response Early Result tests not blue dye early result tests. I have heard they can sometimes give false positives. At any rate, this was the only test I had and my hubby was irritated with me for testing at all. He’s of the mindset, we’ll find out when my period is a no show, but since I always have a 26 day cycle and my period is usually in full force by the evening on…Continue reading Chemical Pregnancy or False Positive?

Negative Beta and Feeling Lost

Thank you everyone for all your love and support over the past few days. I wish I had better news to share, but unfortunately I don’t. It’s official, the blood test was negative today. I knew as soon as I heard the nurse’s voice that it was bad news. I could hear the disappointment in her voice. But at least I wasn’t surprised. Even though she discouraged me from testing on my own, at least it allowed me to be prepared for the final result. Well almost final result. As if this wasn’t bad enough, I have to go back in on Monday and re test, “just in case”. Although it’s very unlikely, there’s still a small possibility that I could have a late implantation and we have to wait to confirm. So this means, I have to wait some more and still have to use the messy progesterone suppositories and I still have to act pregnant, even though all I want to do is drown myself in a bottle of wine right now. I feel so lost right now. This was our one chance. I have no idea what to do now. After Monday’s confirmation, we’ll meet with Dr.…Continue reading Negative Beta and Feeling Lost

6dp5dt – Losing Hope

Well a lot has changed in the past 3 days. I wish I could say it was for the better, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. I have been feeling a lot of cramping that’s gotten steadily more noticeable in the past couple days and my breasts were starting to get really sore. I thought this must have been a good sign, so I decided to do an FRER HPT, yesterday. I know I shouldn’t have. The nurse specifically told me not to, but I know FRER is really sensitive and can detect the smallest traces of HCG, and I told myself from the start that I would test a day or two before so I could prepare myself. Well it was negative. And I did another test this morning and it was negative too. I’m devestaded. How can I be feeling all of this and it be negative? I guess it could be the progesterone, but I didn’t feel any of this before the transfer. It’s so messed up. I know it’s not over until the beta tomorrow, but I’m not too hopeful anymore that the result will be different with the blood test. I know this is why the…Continue reading 6dp5dt – Losing Hope

3dp5dt FET

Today is 3dp5dt (3 days past 5 day [blastocyst] transfer). Well actually it’s the 4th day since my transfer, but it seems that the first day is counted as day 0, or at least that’s what the consensus seems to be on all the sites I’ve looked at. What does this really mean? Not too much yet. I still have 4 days until my first beta, but I really have a good feeling about this. Quite literally – I’m already feeling stuff! The first 2 days, I just felt really tired. The first day was probably from lying around all day after my transfer, but then we drove out to Temecula on Saturday for our friends’ wedding and even though I did absolutely nothing except sit in the car, and then sit at the wedding (I didn’t even dance), I felt exhausted all day. The wedding was so beautiful. It took place at the Wilson Creek Winery and it was absolutely magical. However, it was hard for me to fully enjoy it because I was so tired, and it’s always weird being the only sober person in a room. So I left the festivities at 10:30 when the wedding was…Continue reading 3dp5dt FET

Transfer Day

Today was finally my transfer day! I woke up an hour before my alarm today, but I actually slept last night. I think I got up once to pee, but otherwise slept straight through until 6am. It was so great to go into today’s appointment feeling rested and calm. Then when I got to the clinic, my acupuncturist was already there and waiting for me so I didn’t have to wait at all. She took me to the same treatment room that my transfer would happen in, but it was set up all zen-like with soft music, a pretty screen, and there was even a sofa and a sitting chair. It felt more like a cozy sitting room than a procedure room. So I had no problem getting comfortable and actually fell asleep within minutes! I couldn’t believe it! I couldn’t sleep at all before both retrievals, but had no problem last night and today! Then my acupuncturist came back in and let me empty some of my bladder so I wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. I was thankful to be able to do so. I’ve heard some pretty awful stories of some clinics not letting you pee at all and…Continue reading Transfer Day

TWW Days 4 and 5 and the Day Before the Big Day

Tomorrow is transfer day! Woohoo!  I’m so excited and anxious, I can barely contain it. In just a couple of hours, I’ll go to sleep (please let me sleep), and when I wake up, I’ll finally be going in for my transfer! We have one normal embryo. Our one shot at this, our little embie girl. To say there’s a lot riding on this is an understatement, but I have so much optimism that this is going to work. Please, please let me be right. I honestly don’t know how I’ll be if it doesn’t, but I can’t think about that right now. Right now, I only have room in my thoughts for her. For that single rose blooming on that vine. She is our little bloom and I just feel in my heart that this is going to work. And at least I know I have done everything I could to make it work. The rest is out of our hands. The plan for tomorrow I’ll empty my bladder before I leave the house. Then I have acupuncture at my fertility clinic at 9:30. Then once acupuncture is done, I’ll start drinking water to get a full bladder, and…Continue reading TWW Days 4 and 5 and the Day Before the Big Day

FET Progesterone Day 3 / 2WW – Care Package #3

Today’s package was a really special gift. It was a small journal with pink fur and hearts on it. My dear friend had no way of knowing that our embryo would be a girl, and yet the little book is so obviously girlie. I think it’s a really good sign that this little girl embtyo is meant to be. Inside the book, my friend inscribed the following: Legend says, when you can’t sleep at night, it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream. My dreams are for you in this journey. Love you my dear friend. I have several journals that I’ve written in about all my pregnancies, as well as all the moments of trying in between. This is perfect because you can never have enough journals! And I know I’m going to have many sleepless nights in the upcoming weeks (months) while I wait to find out if this works and I think this little book will be the perfect place to write down all the thoughts that are keeping me up. I love the idea that someone else is dreaming about me and for me on those sleepless nights. Package #3 Quote: “When the world says ‘Give…Continue reading FET Progesterone Day 3 / 2WW – Care Package #3

FET Progesterone Day 2 / 2WW – Care Package #2

Today is my second day of progesterone suppositories. So far it’s all going fine and I’m not noticing any progesterone symptoms yet. Other than a mild, achy headache, I feel pretty good. This is great news, because hopefully it means I won’t confuse pregnancy symptoms with progesterone symptoms. Other than that, I’m doing pretty good. Just getting so anxious for this to happen!  Work is also pretty slow right now so I don’t have that as a distraction though, just for this week and maybe next, I don’t really mind. I work from home doing freelance Graphic Design and Web Design. I only worked 3 hours today, which is good and bad. I never want to say no to a new project because I don’t know when the next project/contract will come along, so there are days when I’m working from 6am – 8pm, but then when it’s really slow, I worry because I don’t know how long the lull will last, so I never really enjoy it when I have time off. However, just for the next couple weeks, I’m happy it’s slow. Even though it gives me more time to think about the events to come, I can…Continue reading FET Progesterone Day 2 / 2WW – Care Package #2