Five months ago, at the start of my IVF/PGD journey, a good friend of mine sent me a care package. I first talked about it in my Sharing The Love post back in September. You can click on the link above to read the original story, but to sum it up, she sent me a care package with 14 individually wrapped packages for every day of the 2 Week Wait, with an inspirational quote on it. She sent it to me right after my first egg retrieval so I would have it for my 2WW, but then we decided to batch my eggs and do another retrieval before proceeding with PGD, so I put the box with all the packages away in my spare room (hopefully soon to be nursery) and waited. Now five months and a new year later, I am finally ready for my transfer! However, I wasn’t sure how the 2WW works with FET because my embryo is already a 5-day blastocyst and we’ll be transferring her on Friday after I’ve been on progesterone for 6 days, so I figured since today is the first day of the progesterone suppositories and the medication is mimicking what my…Continue reading Progesterone Day 1- 2WW Day 1?
Category: Healing Through Sharing
FET is a go!!!
First of all, thank you all for your support and encouragement, and thank you especially to those of you who checked in with me before my appointment today to wish me well. All your positive thoughts and wishes have really helped me through this long wait! I’m sorry I took all day to report back on my appointment. I just haven’t had a spare moment to sit down and write until now! I had a lunch date with a couple girlfriends after my appointment, then I had several errands to run, and work to do when I got back home. Then I was finally sitting down to write my update about an hour ago when my hubby got home from work and distracted me. He’s off to a weekend long bachelor party camping trip up at Big Bear Mountain so I wanted to spend a few minutes with him before he left. He was so happy he was practically giddy. He walked in the house and picked me up off the couch and asked “We’re good?”. He already knew because I had texted him earlier in the day, but and I laughed and said, “Yes, we’re good! We’re a go!”,…Continue reading FET is a go!!!
Cycle Day 1 – Woohoo!
Today is cycle day 1, thank you! I started to get a little nervous yesterday, when AF didn’t show up, but one day late is fine! I’ll take it! I have an appointment with Dr. J tomorrow to do a baseline ultrasound to make sure everything looks good before we proceed. If all is good, we’ll start preparing me for my FET (frozen embryo transfer). Fingers crossed! At this point, I know I’ll begin taking estrogen orally and start using progesterone suppositories. These will help thicken my uterine lining and get me ready for the transfer. I think it will also help prevent me from ovulating so we can just go straight to the transfer, but I’m not completely certain how all that will work yet. I already have the meds read to go, I just need to know when I’ll be starting. I will discuss this along with the complete plan with Dr. J at my appointment tomorrow. When I spoke with him last month, he said we would need about 18 days to build my lining to the right thickness for the transfer, so if all goes according to plan (please, please), then we should good to do…Continue reading Cycle Day 1 – Woohoo!
My Last Miscarriage
Today is the due date for pregnancy #4 and miscarriage #3. It was the last miscarriage I had, and I pray it truly is the last. Two weeks ago, when I talked about miscarriage #2, I dreaded today and thinking about miscarriage #3, but now that it’s here, I’m strangely okay. I think I have to credit it to my last minute change of attitude towards my birthday. Yesterday I turned 37. For months I have been dreading it. It’s not because of getting older. That has never really bothered me and I’ve always felt pretty young at heart (though the toll all these losses has taken out on my body and emotions has made me feel ancient at times), but when you’re trying to build a family, every year that goes by and every year you age, counts. Almost exactly this time last year, I had the go ahead to start trying again after my hysteroscopy and 8-month long drawn out process from miscarriage #2, and now it’s been another year, and another loss. The fact that I had another miscarriage in that time and the due date is the day after my birthday, had me in quite a…Continue reading My Last Miscarriage
What Should Have Been
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the due date for miscarriage #2. It was a pretty rough day. I spent the morning moping around the house, feeling sorry for myself. If things were different, we would have been celebrating a first birthday for Christmas this year. And when I thought about that, my thoughts started spiraling down the would-have, should-have been path of all the things that could have been. If I had a normal, healthy pregnancy with my first, and didn’t get Preeclampsia/HELLP Syndrome, I would have delivered my son full term and he would be with us right now. We’d have a rambunctious 3 ½ year old boy full of joy and excitement for Christmas. If my second pregnancy hadn’t resulted in a miscarriage at 6 weeks, we would have a 2 ½ year old girl or boy. If pregnancy #3 hadn’t resulted in my second miscarriage, we would have a 1 year old right now. And if my last miscarriage hadn’t happened, I’d be going in for a c-section right about now—I can’t have a vaginal delivery because of my emergency c-section at 27 weeks with my first pregnancy (another regret)—but instead, all of these pregnancies went wrong,…Continue reading What Should Have Been
Celebrating 6 Years With My Love
Six years ago today (well yesterday now since it’s after midnight), I married the love of my life. It’s hard to believe it’s been six years already and yet we’ve been through so much together in that time, it should feel like a lifetime. It’s a true testament to our relationship that we’ve been through everything we have been, and it still feels like just yesterday that I said I do. As I think back on it all, I feel truly blessed. I will never forget that magical day, six years ago when we stood up in front of our family and friends and vowed to love each other through better or worse. And we have. I’ll never forget any of it… The amazing trips we’ve taken together so far. Adopting our kitties. The morning I took my first pregnancy test ever and it was positive, and I waking my husband up (pee stick still in hand) and telling him we were pregnant. I’ll never forget the look of sleepy joy he had on his face. I’ll never forget the anxiety and fear we felt when we were told I had to have an emergency c-section at 27 weeks. Or…Continue reading Celebrating 6 Years With My Love
A Little Sunshine in a Dark Week
Today, I found out a fellow angel mom had nominated me for the Sunshine Award! I was shocked and touched to receive this acknowledgement, and it couldn’t have come at a better time! I always try to maintain a positive attitude and sense of humor with all the ups and downs of trying to conceive and recurrent pregnancy loss, but lately I have to admit that I have been struggling with it all. I had a mini breakdown last night and found myself going to a really dark place full of bitterness, anger and self loathing. Then, this morning I logged onto my blog and discovered this little gift. Thank you so much Recurrently Lost for your nomination and for brightening my day! This angel mom always writes from the heart and her stories have been a constant inspiration to me. I am so honored that she thought of me. Thoughts on the Sunshine Award When I received my nomination, I immediately tried to do a search about it and learn more, and was confused at first when I couldn’t find a website for the Award. I could only find other bloggers who had received the award nomination and had…Continue reading A Little Sunshine in a Dark Week
Healing Through Sharing: Wave of Light on October 15th
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc. This image was shared with me on Facebook today and I just wanted to share it here. Today is October 15th: National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. On this day, I think it’s fitting to highlight this Facebook post because it led me to special Facebook page that provides another source of support for pregnancy loss and infant loss, and we can never have enough resources for this! Click on the link above to view the Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Facebook page. Today, I light 4 candles: one for my beautiful angel Holdon and one candle for each of my embryo angels. Related Articles: On National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a Mother With a Candle to Light
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
Somewhere Over the Rainbow LLC: October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month October is a special month for families who have suffered the loss of a child during pregnancy or shortly following birth. It is known as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, marked by “The International Wave of Light” on October 15. Manchester, New Jersey (PRWEB) October 01, 2013 (www.prweb.com) On October 25, 1988, (then) President Ronald Reagan designated the month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. What an amazing act of love and compassion he showed towards families all over the United States. This later spurred the 2002 petition, October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, to designate this day specifically as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day set aside in which to honor and remember these babies lost. It was an American movement started by Robyn Bear, Lisa Brown, and Tammy Novak. They petitioned the governors of each of the 50 states as well as the federal government, and by October 15, 2002, 20 states had signed proclamations to recognize the date, which was observed for the very first time that year in 2002. 11 years later, all 50 states…Continue reading October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
Sharing the Love
A surprise package came in the mail today from a dear friend of mine that brought tears to my eyes. It was so thoughtful and touching, I simply had to share this gift. The best part is I don’t even know what it all is yet! The box included 14 different wrapped packages, one for each day of the 2 Week Wait. She sent it before we had made the decision to post-pone our transfer in order to do another round of meds and another egg retrieval. We made the decision to get as many eggs as possible so we’re now in a 2 Month Wait rather than a 2 Week Wait. However, I could not believe this amazing friend had take the time to collect 14 different items, wrap them all, and write an inspiring quote on each one. Each package has a number between 1-14 and is intended to inspire me and help me cope each day during the all too stressful 2 Week Wait. We all know how difficult that wait is! I know I’m going to especially need this after waiting two months to just get ready to do our transfer! To my dear friend (you…Continue reading Sharing the Love